“Sugar & Spice” Doesn’t Always Feel Nice - Truth in love, Part 2

In part one, we explored the importance of speaking the truth in love—acknowledging that as Christians, we are called to balance compassion and honesty, even when the truth makes people uncomfortable. But what does it really mean to speak the truth without sugarcoating it? How do we stay faithful to the message of truth without turning it into something it’s not?

The idea of speaking the truth “with a little spice” or not sugarcoating it doesn’t mean being rude or harsh. It doesn’t give us license to “tell it like it is” in a way that is selfish or unloving. (And we must realize that our personal opinion doesn’t always need to be expressed not does it always align with what the truth actually is. We’ll come back to this point later.)

What it IS about is presenting truth in its full clarity— That means no dilution, no softening, no trimming the edges to make it palatable and easily received so as not to offend. (No cutting the crust off of the sandwiches here. Try the next recipe blog over.)

As mentioned in my previous post… We should all just accept that truth is going to offend us in some way, shape, form or at some point in our lives because it confronts the realities we want to remain hidden and exposes the things we want to remain unseen by others. Perhaps, instead, we invite truth to offend our pride so that we can truly change. We should also recognize that offense is a willful choice we make within ourselves. Maybe we’ll explore this topic separately some time.

Though truth should not be diluted, it should be delivered with the intention and action of love enveloping it.

But why does this even matter? Glad you asked! As Christians, we are compelled and commissioned to speak the truth in a manner that reflects the nature of our Savior — truthful, but full of grace (John 1:14). Take the gospel for example… This truth is not a “sugar-coated” message. In reality, it’s quite “spicy” if you ask me. It’s got some pretty tough realities that aren’t palatable for many, yet at the same time, it’s all wrapped up and delivered with the love and compassion of God. It’s both an invitation and a confrontation. It calls us sinners in need of repentance and reveals our desperate need for a Savior, yet it simultaneously offers profound grace and mercy. The full truth is that we are sinners in need of salvation, but the full love is that Jesus came to save us, not condemn us (John 3:17). Super spicy, super sweet.

Let’s explore the theological framework here with the Gospel as the model.

The concept of truth in love is exemplified in the life and teachings of Jesus. When Jesus spoke to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11), He didn’t minimize the reality of her sin. He called her actions what they were—sin.

(That shouldn’t be a dirty, offensive word, but I know our generation tends to have a visceral reaction to hearing it every time. “Oh no, don’t say that someting is ‘sin’… you might offend Pookie and Patricia!” Alright, Pooks and Patty, alright. Stick with me here.)

Even though Jesus called out her sin, He extended mercy and grace, offering forgiveness and a chance to “go and sin no more.” His truth was not diluted, but it was saturated with grace and love.

In other instances, Jesus was clear and direct in His confrontations. When Peter rebuked Him for speaking of His coming death, Jesus didn’t soften the blow (Matthew 16:21-23). He told Peter plainly, “Get behind me, Satan!” That was a hard truth, but it was a necessary one. If Jesus had sugar-coated His rebuke, Peter probably wouldn’t have understood the gravity of what he was doing.

Spicy truth doesn’t always feel nice, does it? But it’s still necessary to hear.

Sometimes, we sugarcoat truth because we’re afraid of what might happen. We fear that speaking plainly might hurt someone’s feelings, drive people away, or make us appear unkind. When you are decent person, these concerns are understandable. But let’s remember that the gospel, by nature, challenges and convicts—it confronts our depravity and displays our need for change. Though it is the Holy Spirit who convicts, in many cases, we are to be the ones who challenge. Sometimes God uses us to challenge societal and cultural issues. A friend of mine said recently “just because someting is a norm, doesn’t mean its the standard.” In other words, just because something may be accepted as normal, doesn't mean it’s aligned with God’s design and standards. While the message of the gospel is always loving, it’s not always comfortable for most people.

Paul talks about this in Ephesians 4:15, urging believers to "speak the truth in love." While this is primarily in reference to relationships within the Body of Christ, I believe we are still supposed to speak the truth in love as we evangelize to the lost and take ground for the Kingdom. The key word here is not “love” as much as it is “truth.” The balance between truth and love isn’t about compromising either one for the sake of the other. It’s about holding both together. Love without truth is empty sentimentality, and truth without love is harsh and cruel. When we sugarcoat the truth, we compromise both—leaving out the full beauty and power of the gospel message and continual work that God’s word and grace can do in and through us.

The call to speak the truth should be rooted in three things: love and devotion to God, love and compassion for people, and a desire to see the Kingdom of Heaven rule in the earth. We should have a desire to see people, including ourselves, saved, grow, change, and be transformed by the truth. The “truth” is the gospel itself and the word of God itself. It is the message of life that brings light to the darkness and hope to the hopeless. God himself is truth. If we water down the truth, we deny people the chance to fully understand their condition and their need for a Savior. We also deny them the fullness of God’s love, which is poured out precisely because of our need for redemption.

Jesus didn’t sugarcoat the truth about sin or salvation. He spoke it plainly, but always with the goal of leading people to life, reconciliation, and deeper relationship with God. As His followers, we are called to do the same.

Speaking the truth in love means sharing the fullness of God’s truth while offering His grace. It's not about avoiding difficult conversations or trying to make everything sound nicer than it is. It’s about inviting people into a more honest, genuine relationship with God and with us. Sometimes that’s going to be uncomfortable, but when done with compassion, clarity, and humility, it can be the most loving thing we can do.

Remember, when we sugarcoat truth, we often rob people of the opportunity to experience the full weight of God’s love and the transformative power of the gospel. Let’s be willing to speak the truth plainly, without sugarcoating it, but always with grace and the goal of building others up. In doing so, we follow the example of Jesus, and perfect balance of truth and love.